[revisiting. my voice, words by dear sugar]
i’ve written often about how it is we have to reach hard in the direction of the lives we want, even if it’s difficult to do so. i’ve advised people to set healthy boundaries and communicate mindfully and take risks and work hard on what actually matters and confront contradictory truths and trust the inner voice that speaks with love and shut out the inner voice that speaks with hate. but the thing is—the thing so many of us forget—is that those values and principles don’t only apply to our emotional lives. we’ve got to live them out in our bodies too.
yours. mine. droopy and ugly and fat and thin and marred and wretched as they are. we have to be as fearless about our bellies as we are with our hearts.
real change happens on the level of the gesture. it’s one person doing one thing differently than he or she did before. it’s the man who opts not to invite his abusive mother to his wedding; the woman who decides to spend her saturday mornings in a drawing class instead of scrubbing the toilets at home; the writer who won’t allow himself to be devoured by his envy; the parent who takes a deep breath instead of throwing a plate. it’s you and me standing naked before our lovers, even if it makes us feel kind of squirmy in a bad way when we do. the work is there. it’s our task. doing it will give us strength and clarity. it will bring us closer to who we hope to be.
you don’t have to be young. you don’t have to be thin. you don’t have to be “hot” in a way that some dumbfuckedly narrow mindset has construed that word. you don’t have to have taut flesh or a tight ass or an eternally upright set of tits.
you have to find a way to inhabit your body while enacting your deepest desires. you have to be brave enough to build the intimacy you deserve. you have to take off all of your clothes and say, i’m right here.
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- marihuertas said: holding you close in my heart this night.
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- viscountjan said: Beautiful. Just beautiful!
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